No New Friends Needed
I harbor a severe distaste for cliches, although I see and experience truth in them in certain moments, when they come alive.
Such a hyprocrite, aren’t I.
Here’s one I’m about to pick apart.
FYI — I’m not intending to pick apart the actual meaning, but the typical approach and response to platitudes like these.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
When I read/heard/encountered this, I took inventory of my surroundings, my community, my 5 peeps.
Typically, I didn’t feel like these 5 lucky humans were the most positive influences or presences in my life.
They weren’t terrible or horrible.
They were average.
Okay.
Whatever.
But I felt bad about it.
Because it meant that… I was the average of them.
So then I thought of ways I could increase the average.
Do I network?
Do I join Facebook groups for empowered enlightened individuals?
How do I find these people that I want to surround me and bring up my average??
Where are they???
Would they even want to be in my circle?
Blah blah and blabbity blah.
Looking back, it’s a load of bull.
Not the quote, necessarily, though I probably would never say it to anyone.
But what many people, including myself, assume it means.
That they need to change their people up if they want to advance in life, career, finances, etc etc etc.
The truth is, that quote would be rendered pretty irrelevant if we decided that we would ignore the circumstances, the people we do spend the most time with, and trusted ourselves enough to trust that everything works out for us — in the best way.
Always.
Because it’s never about the people or the circumstances or the situations.
It never was.
We are where we are, because of who we are.
That’s not to say, if you’re in a shitty position, you’re a shitty person.
That’s just elementary and slightly dumb.
Or a lot dumb.
And it’s not that you *asked* for trouble.
Just had to get that out of the way lol.
The fact is, the current moment isn’t telling you what’s wrong and what you need to improve.
The current moment is informing you, me, us where we stand within ourselves, how we relate to Life, to God, to our purpose.
The point in life is not to be a better person.
It’s not to increase our value, contribution, benefit to the world.
That’s how some people see it, and they thrive off it.
That’s coo.
It’s not me.
I’m not here to improve the world.
I’m not even here to improve me.
I’m here to live fully me.
I’m here to know fully me.
I’m here to be fully me.
When I do, everything around me CAN’T NOT change.
It would be imPOSSible for my inner world to shift, evolve, expand and for things around me to stay the same.
I wouldn’t be seeing the world through the same lens.
I wouldn’t be perceiving from the same place.
The things that triggered me before are a distant memory, if I can even remember them.
The things that hurt before don’t exist in my life.
The things that bogged me down before… where are they?
This all sounds simplistic, I’m sure.
Let it be.
It’s a cosmic joke (there are so many…).
The idea that the life we want to live is on the other side of hard, challenging, brutal, don’t-wanna-but-I-gotta… right?
Why the F are we here??
To effect change so we can feel and be what we want?
To what end?
What’s the point of feeling good when it’s contrived?
What’s the point of stacking things up just right so we can feel the appropriate elation, security, confidence, happiness?
Would any of that even BE actual elation, security, confidence, happiness, etc etc etc?
You tell me.
Are we not here to know the magic of Life?
Are we not here to unlock the secrets of the universe embedded in our very DNA, our hearts, our souls?
Are we not here to live magnificently?
However that looks like for each of us?
Are we not here to turn shit up *from* WHO WE ARE????
From the stardust we were born from?
To channel the god-ness that can only be channeled by each of us uniquely???
Or are we here to *create* something, something visible?
Tangible?
Does it feel better to have a trophy?
Does it feel real-er?
Does it make it more worth it?
Or would it be enough to live life knowing, believing, trusting that we are enough?
If we did, then what?
What would happen?
What would come through?
Who would we become?
How would we live?
How would we begin to respect ourselves?
Honor ourselves?
Believe in ourselves?
Trust ourselves?
Treat ourselves?
Love ourselves?
Hmmmmmmmm?
How would we support ourselves?
Encourage ourselves?
Finance our desires?
Create time and space for our expression, our art?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
And… going back to that quote…
how would we relate to those around us?
What kind of people would we attract as we live in the flow of us?
It really is this simple.
You don’t really need to pay attention to the people around you.
The misbelief is that idea that you need to,
that you need to cut people off,
that you need to create boundaries…
and maybe this doesn’t sit right with you.
Because you have some toxic people in your life…
but the real question is — what are the toxic people in your life reflecting to you…
about you??
Where have you agreed to be abused?
Mistreated?
Diminished?
Used?
This tells you where you are within yourself.
How you see yourself.
It really does come back to you with you, you with God.
If you saw yourself, really saw yourself…
Came face to face with your truth, your wonder, your beauty, there would be no question of how you would want to treat yourself.
And when you do, when you do begin to treat yourself the way you want, the way that aligns with you, the way that feels GOOD to you, so everything outside of you shifts.
It.can’t.not.
This is truth.
This is law.
You are law.
Breathe it, own it, be it.
The law of your creatorship already embraces you.
Do you trust it?
x,
Originally published at https://gracejyk.com on February 8, 2021.
