Holding Space for Someone Usually Involves Little Talking

Grace J. Kim
4 min readMar 16, 2021

What someone in need really needs is to be seen and known for who and what they truly are.

This is not to say, disregard their situation or their feelings or whatever.

It’s to acknowledge it all.

All, which includes their infinite pure nature,

full of and overflowing with health and well-being,

powerful because of who they are, not because they overcame shit and made it thus far (although the triumph is wonderful too),

inherently wise beyond what they feel is the problem, the obstacle, the thorn in their side in the way of their happiness in the moment.

Maybe it’s pretentious to say this is what they Need.

Because who knows what ANYone freaking needs lol.

And honestly, is there really ANYthing that NEEDS to be or happen?

I will say though, that the power of seeing and holding someone in their light has always outweighed any level of sympathy, empathy, problem-solving, understanding.

That and compassion.

Lots of compassion.

Because you know and feel and see who and what they are (largely because you know that about yourself)


see the disconnect expressed in dis-ease, discomfort, unhappiness, frustration, anger, etc etc etc.

THAT is the pain.

THAT is the gap, the crux of it all.

It’s no one’s job to close that gap except the person experiencing it.

Any level of trying to close it ourselves is the buying into the idea that the gap is “too big”,

the person “too small”,

the problem “too complex”,

the issue “too heartbreaking”,




And when that happens, we for SURE aren’t seeing the person in the truth of who they are.

This is not to say, be cold-hearted and cold-shouldered.


Some may read it like that.

I’m not writing it like that.

When we come from the place seeing and knowing and believing in someone’s true essence AND marry that goodness with compassion for their experience,

we are informed about how to be with them.

And that, typically, is holding space for them,

honoring them for who they are

trusting in their destiny, their healing, their evolution,

backing their inclination for expansion,

showing up in your full presence.

When I say, full presence, I don’t mean full attention, focus, and concentration, making sure they know that you know what they’re going through.

I mean, full presence of you in your own true essence.

You in you.

Fully engaged with your infinite ass nature,

connected to the light within,

thriving in the love you are.

Holding space for someone is nothing more than that.

Holding presence, inviting them into their own hearts and souls, to experience what is coming through, what wants to come through, what is meant to come through.

That’s all.

It’s nothing more than that.

I have seen time and again, people move through their pain and emotions and fear and anxiety as I sit with them, chilling in my own goodness, aware of the vast Love all around.

They cry, I hug them if I feel drawn to,

leave them be if I feel drawn to,

witness their experiencing the experience,

watching their countenance evolve as they flow into the river of grace bubbling within,

knowing that no words needs to be said,

no actions need to be taken,

no steps no guidance no suggestions recommendations.

Just me with me with them.

It’s a type of honor, to allow someone the dignity of their process,

and honor they feel inherently

that invites them to expand into all that they are, just by being there.

Because that is the natural flow of human nature.

It’s to return to the seat of our divine selves, our divine knowing.

It happens often in silence,

amidst the seeming chaos,

quietly, gently, tenderly.

Everyone desires to come home to themselves.

Everyone will, in time, with space.

Sometimes all it takes is for someone else to believe it for them.

It really is that easy.

This level of presence is learn-able, experientially.

I’ve learned it through meditation.

I first learned to hold space for me,

and in doing so, I effortlessly learned to do it for others.

It’s a presence that isn’t taught, rather, it’s experienced, first within ourselves for ourselves,

and then expressed into the world.

I’m giving a talk on meditation on Thursday 3/18 @ 6:30pm PT.

It’s a short talk, happening right before my weekly meditation @ 7pm PT.

I will teach you what it means to meditate and probably bust some common beliefs about it,

things like “meditation is about calming your mind”

or “you need to meditate every day”

or “meditation will make you a better person”.


If you’re interested, comment below and I’ll get you the details.

Oh, and it’s free.

Love yaz,

Originally published at https://gracejyk.com on March 16, 2021.